Massive Harassment Reports Flood In From Students, Registration Tactics Deemed ‘Too Aggressive’

While students are losing their commitments to the current semester, registration officials are done playing the waiting game and are in the full offensive to ensnare WCC students for the summer and fall semesters.

“I’m not even sure if I’m going to turn in my English essay that was due a few days ago,” stated Harper Keering. “And the college wants me to sign up for classes now? Dream on.”

Particularly in the Student Center, students have seen signs of harassment, telling them to register for their courses. Now.

Normally taking the initiative is endearing to others, but the rate and capacity has intimidated some students, like Liberal Arts major, Jeremy Jones.

“Just last week I got a text from the school telling me that I should sign up for classes,” said Jones who was scrolling through his phone to find said text. “And yea, I’m down to go check out some classes but it was all caps. ALL. CAPS.”

Showing off the text message Jones shook his head, his hand now trembling.

“The last time I got a text in all caps, it was from my ex-girlfriend when she found out I was dating her best friend,” said Jones as he started looking for that text. “It did not go over well.”

Fellow student, Lindsey Brower, also thinks the tactics are too strong.

“I check my phone, Register Now. Go to the Student Center, the building is plastered with Register Now,” started Brower frantically. “I go to get coffee, and wouldn’t you know it, there are signs telling me to ‘Register Now,’ too! What’s next?! Are administration members going to start popping out of bushes to tell me to sign up for classes? It’s too much!”

Members of the college who are campaigning with early registration feel justified with their tactics however.

“Listen, I get that students feel like their personal bubbles are being popped, or that they feel really overwhelmed with all the signs telling them to get the ball rolling,” said student counselor Julia Fey. “But these kids don’t know the meaning of overwhelmed until they are neck deep in 200 or more students who all want to get into a class the day it starts. If anybody is reading this, they should register for their next semester now.”

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