Massive Library Heist Thwarted by Impenetrable Key Card System

Pesky book thieves never stood a chance against the turnstiles.
/Na’irb Etnop

After months of extensive planning, what would have been a large-scale heist of WCC’s library was stopped in its tracks when a team of would-be thieves could not bypass the Library Building’s advanced security system.

The thwarted heist would have resulted in the loss millions of dollars worth of textbooks—between 15 and 20 books in total—as well as hundreds of irreplaceable thesauruses, dictionaries, and several issues of Scientific American. However, when confronted with the library’s unimaginably complex keycard access system, the burglars simply could not figure out a way to make it past the turnstiles.

“You can imagine our surprise when we found out that you needed a student ID to enter the building,” said one of the apprehended robbers. “None of us had an ID on us so, naturally, we were forced to abandon the operation.”

The library entrance’s state-of-the-art security system includes a place to scan a student ID and a turnstile system, overseen at all times by a hyper-vigilant WCC security guard. Understandably, such a complex system is beyond the capability of even the most hardened criminals in central Westchester.

The team of six burglars had reportedly been planning the heist since some time during the Fall 2017 semester, having gone as far as obtaining blueprints of the library building in order to perfectly plot out their attack. The team scouted out the area in person, and developed a thorough understanding of the Dewey Decimal System before carrying out their attack.

Eyewitnesses say that the team approached the library’s fortified main gate, before standing around baffled and promptly turning themselves in to the authorities. Many students who previously saw the newly implemented system as an aggravating and pointless obstacle between themselves and the services explicitly offered to them by WCC are beginning to change their tune.

“I used to think that the whole new security system was a minor inconvenience, or a pointless solution to a nonexistent problem,” said Michael Ellis, an honors student who attends a weekly class in the library. “Now that I see how effective it was in preventing a serious crime, I realize that my petty grievances as one of the schools highest achieving students are entirely unimportant.”

Ellis was, however, quick to point out that other areas of the library are less fortified than the main entrance.

When asked by the Viking News about the fact that the entire basement floor of the library can still be entered completely unhindered, school officials responded by plugging their ears and yelling “lalalalala” until we went away.

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