Gateway Center To Begin Transfer Services to a Galaxy Far Far Away

Planet Earth has now truly entered the final frontier, and somewhere, Captain Kirk and Commander Spock are smiling. In collaboration with neighboring galaxy Andromeda, a principle agreement has been reached to construct a state-of-the-art intergalactic gateway in front of WCC’s Gateway Center.

This decision comes after over a decade of debates among officials trying to figure out what the hell they meant when they decided to name the building Gateway.

“In all honesty, we had no idea what the hell we meant when we came up with that name. We just knew that there was a deeper meaning to the name of this building than it just being a significant step in the journey toward a brighter future for our students,” said one WCC official.

The intergalactic gateway would link WCC with Andromeda Academic
Sector NGC224. (Artist’s rendition by Perry Took)

“Sometimes, you need to realize that you must literally take the name of the building at face value, that it is actually is a gateway to another dimension and/or galaxy, and not something symbolic for the faculty, staff, and student body to take to heart.”

With the framework of a deal now in place, President Miles and her administration are expected to work closely with Andromeda Academic Sector NGC 224 on future regulations of the gateway portal, including who will be eligible to immigrate and emigrate to and from both Milky Way and Andromeda. There are also plans for a merger of the two coalitions in 4.5 billion years, when the two galaxies are expected to collide with one another.

“We hope we are laying down the foundation for a strong, everlasting intergalactic relationship,” said Andromeda Supreme Educational Lord Mylurk Klaatu. “We see this working out a lot better than that Adam Sandler movie, Pixels.

This endeavor has not been met without resistance, however, as self-proclaimed world leader and confused professional cosmonaut Donald Trump is immediately working on yet another executive order to restrict passage through the portal into Earth.

“Listen, I love Andromeda. I really do. I have some major investments in their Hyper Nebula space routes,” Trump said. “But the ones who want to come here? They are not the best Andromeda has to offer. They are smugglers! They are thieves! They like to watch Battlestar Galactica! Believe me!”

According to Trump, he plans to build a great force field between Gateway and the portal.  “And Andromeda will cover the cost of it,” Trump said. “Believe me, nobody builds force fields better than me.”

Surprisingly, WCC students have been rather indifferent to this watershed event. “I don’t see what the big deal is, to be honest,” said Physics major Alan Smith. “It isn’t like this was built at a four year school. Last I heard, Pace was planning to build a water slide.”

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