Making a Meaningful Connection on a First Date

First date nerves, while common, are usually unwarranted. (Photo: Nathan Rupert, via fl ickr.com)

Your palms are sweaty, your knees are weak, your arms are heavy–no this isn’t an Eminem song, this is you on your way to meet your date and you’re feeling first date nerves.

As you walk towards the spot you agreed to meet, a million and one things run through your mind. “How did I get here?” Then you have flashbacks to asking your date out and them actually saying “yes.”

Now, back to you being nervous and not knowing what to do for this date. You’ve planned this date out in your head, but now you can’t remember what you planned.

Maybe it was something about going to a museum? No, maybe it was a walk through West Village? Yes, it was definitely a walk through the village to a museum!

We’ve all been at a point like this, the first date and you’re nervous, and have no idea how this will play out. You’re hoping for no awkward silences or bad jokes that no one laughs at.

The date begins normally, just talking and asking how the other’s day has been so far. Then you realize, “I can’t keep asking about their day.”

So, now you have to think of something new to talk about. The weather? No, that’s completely cliche. Maybe sports? Nope, the most you know about sports is that the World Cup is played every four years.

You decide to settle on the usual, “Tell me something I don’t already know about you” bit. This works for about an hour as you two laugh together.

Then after that, for some reason, things just begin to flow between the two of you. The conversations come up on their own.

You begin to learn things about each other that you have in common. In this case, you see religion in the world similarly.

You don’t worry about where you’re going anymore, you just keep going, together. This date became what you wanted it to be: getting to know someone and who they are.

It became walking anywhere and everywhere, asking each other, “How’d we get here?”

This day became something you want to experience again and again and again. Hopefully it becomes something you’re able to do again.

The misconceptions with first dates are far and many. Some of these misconceptions lead people to believe that first dates are just disasters waiting to happen.

These misconceptions include: having nothing in common, awkward silences, and uncomfortable discussions about things you don’t agree on.

However, these don’t always show up on first dates. Most times the date actually works out.

These misconceptions come from one bad date that your friend’s cousin’s sister had.

First dates are often tricky, just having to consider the pace at which to approach things. Do you hold hands if it’s going well? Who pays for dinner?

These little things can leave you floored and completely clueless.

But you have to remember one thing: you’re going on this date because you’re starting to feel a connection. Maybe they like that one movie that everyone hated but you loved. Maybe they hate the one you love, and you want to discuss why.

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